When Editors Complain That "There's Too Much Telling"

In my recent online workshop regarding showing vs. telling, a participant sent in her homework, which entailed submitting a segment from a book by her favorite author, along with how many sentences were showing and how many were telling.

She wrote:

One show, thirteen tells.

If I'm correct and this author begins with this much telling, I don't understand why editors frown upon beginning writers for doing the same thing.

Here's my reply:

If you analyze a published story that's similar in genre and style to your own, only to learn the number of sentences that show (i.e. state a fact such as, "She brushed her hair.") and those that tell (i.e., convey opinion/interpretation or explanation, such as, "She didn't like brushing her hair.") are roughly equal to that of your story, there are three possibilities if your work gets dinged for too much telling:

1. That particular editor/publisher (or critiquer) may not be qualified to evaluate your book.

Every type and genre of book has a different standard regarding how much showing and telling is appropriate. If the editor/publisher is applying the wrong standard to your story, maybe because he likes thrillers and your story is a romance — your story can't help but fail in comparison.

2. You might not be using high-quality telling, by which I mean carefully choosing and placing just those details that lead readers to the right conclusion. Instead, you might be restating information that's already been better communicated through dialogue, description or characters' action (i.e., She accepted the engagement ring and smiling through her tears said, "I'm so happy.")

3. The editor/publisher is looking for an excuse to reject the work for some reason outside the writer's control.

The best defense is to do as my class participant did and carefully evaluate your story based on that of a published story that's very similar. That will tell you if you're on track or need to do more/less of either.

What say you?

Happy writing!

Who You Know, and Who I Know are Way Cool

I attended the Redwood Writers Conference in Santa Rosa, CA, yesterday, Oct. 30. I was supposed to be manning — womanning — the San Francisco chapter of the Women's National Book Association table, which I did.

But the most important take on the day was going from one excellent conversation to another. To say the writers I talked with know their stuff and are willing to help their fellow writers advance is a huge understatement.

I'll be disseminating the advice throughout the week. To start, though, here's a list of hard-working author friends who know how to promote and are out there spreading the word:

• Teresa LeYung Ryan, who, after eight years is still making sure her novel, Love Made of the Heart, is selling strong.

• Victoria M. Johnson, who said her second nonfiction book about grant writing is now off to the publisher (McGraw-Hill), her romance novel was bought by Avalon and her short film, Still Life, has just received an award.

• Patricia V. Davis, author of author of Harlot's Sauce: A Memoir of Food, Family, Love, Loss and Greece, will have her next book, The Diva Doctrine, published in the spring by Cedar Fort.

• mystery writer Terri Thayer, who has eight craft-related mysteries (the Quilting Mystery series and the Stamping Sisters series) out.

• Linda C. McCabe, past president of the Redwood Writers, a chapter of the California Writers Club.

• Elisa Southard, author of Break Through the Noise: 9 Tools to Propel Your Marketing Message

(photo from left to right: Victoria M. Johnson, Terri Thayer, me, Linda C. McCabe, Patricia V. Davis)

Happy writing!