Some Business, Some Funnies

I'm a dessert-before-dinner kind of gal, so before business, here's a funny, an anonymous Craig's list advertisement that'll wish you'd written this sales pitch.

Here's a sample of what writing in the all-out-chutzpah arena resembles (just to whet your appetite):

Manly Bike for Sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about boking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "---- YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME."

And the ad only gets better, though you're correct those dashes denote profanity, so be warned.

Now for business.

I'll bet you didn't know Saint Mary's College of California sponsors an online arts journal as part of the school's MFA in Creative Writing program. If not, check out MARY Magazine to see if there's a place for your poetry, fiction or nonfiction.

Unlike most small literary journals, this outfit pays writers $50 on publication, and bonus of bonuses, accepts submissions via email. The deadline for the submission period ends Feb. 1.

One more resource for you: WritingRaw.com is "a literary sharing website where writers can upload, view and share their writing." The site creators say you can post anything so long as it's legal. So if you're short on feedback for your writing, this site may be for you.

Happy Halloween!

Reformatting for Effect

I just finished reading Diary of a Bad Year by J. M. Coetzee, a South African who won the 2003 Nobel Prize for Literature and now lives in Australia.

Rarely do I see novels that use any other format other than the traditional visual and structural layout of chapter title followed by the text, one page following another in the same manner. Yet Cotzee used a format I've never seen. Both the novelty of the formatting and the rarity of such risk-taking on the part of the author proved fascinating, both visually and intellectually.

The book revolves around an elderly German writer who's asked to write a book of essays conveying his opinions about whatever he wants. A lonely and isolated man who lives in an urban high-rise in Australia, he's charmed by a petite young woman of 29 who lives in the same building. He offers her a job as his typist. Besides his opinions, we see his interaction with the woman, first through his eyes and then through hers.

Structurally, Coetzee places the writer's essay at the top of each page. This essay might be only one page long, or run for several pages. But again, the essay only takes up the top half of every page.

Below the essay portion, Coetzee places the writer's personal thoughts. Again, these thoughts might be only one paragraph long, or extend for several pages.

At the very bottom of each page, Coetzee places the woman's personal thoughts, including her interaction with her jealous boyfriend.

Here's a visual example of each page (the words are mine, since I don't have an example of the book at hand):

About Elections

In the world of politics there are XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_____________________________________________________________

He knew he couldn't appear too eager. That doing so might
frighten her, or worse, disgust her. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

____________________________________________________________

He said he needed a typist, but of course she didn't believe that.
He could easily hire someone from the agency down the block,
and for a lot cheaper. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What's so interesting about this shakeup from the norm is that after the initial confusion, you feel a real thrill of excitement in figuring out what's going on, i.e., who's talking and how the relationship begins to change. Then throughout the book you have to make decisions. Should you read the essay through to the end and flip back to the personal thoughts, or should you read each page in its entirety, which requires you to jump from one section/one character to another, the effect similar to chatting with people online, in that rather than hearing each person to the conclusion of his/her thoughts, comments leapfrog. Answers come before questions and comments straggle in long after the subject has changed.

The lesson is clear. Just by changing the visual look of a page you'll challenge your readers to think in a new way. So long as you have a good reason for using an unconventional format and you hold to a steady rule of usage — the top of the page is always reserved for the essay, for example, or that the formatting reflects one particular character's frame of mind — your readers will not only catch on to what you're doing but experience the thrill of discovery.

Have you ever experimented in this manner? How did you change the format? What was the result?

Happy writing!